Being Bothered

Most of us do things a certain way cause it’s programmed into our minds. So when we live with someone who’s raised a different way, our brain sees it as foreign. So when we see our spouse doing something different from the way we were taught, ask them about it.

Find out if their way is better or just different. Lots of times it’s just different.

No one wants to be constantly told what they’re doing wrong. So remember in your mind you may think you’re helping, by pointing out all the things they COULD or SHOULD be doing. When in reality, they may think that everything they do just isn’t good enough for you.

I remember reading a story about a woman who read in an article that couples should sit down together and go over all the little things that annoy them. So she made a list and went over it to her spouse. Then when it was his turn to tell her all he said was, ‘I don’t think there’s a single thing I don’t already like about you.’ Ouch. While she’d been fussing over the little things, he’d chosen to just ignore them. 

Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults, cause no one is perfect. I’m sure we’re all very aware of our own faults that no one needs a reminder of them. If we’re not careful, some of what we offer as ‘constructive’ criticism is probably more destructive than we realize. Sometimes it’s better to just ignore things and leave it unsaid. For example: Leaving the toilet seat up or down. Or which way the toilet paper should be put back on the holder. Silly things like that don’t need to be fussed over. If those things bother you, then change it yourself.