Helpful Marriage Tips

Real or implied, criticism can strain a relationship. When we criticize, we imply blame. For some, It’s a form of humor and they enjoy feeling superior when they see someone’s discomfort. It’s easy to point out mistakes. I remember my mom telling me a story of how this beautiful young woman married this guy and how his constant criticism not only destroyed their marriage, but also her entire sense of self worth.  It started out with small things like maybe her cooking or how she cleaned. To how she looked and talked. Eventually he wore her down to where she felt totally useless. She also told me of a woman who had no self esteem. But her husband found so many things that were good in her and told her constantly. Gradually she began to believe she was indeed a good person and her opinions actually mattered. His belief in her rekindled her self worth. Now, despite the examples I gave, it’s not always the men who build up or tear down a woman’s self confidence. Women can do it ...

Complete trust in each other is one of the greatest feelings in any relationship. And nothing breaks it quite like infidelity. There’s never a justification for it. Although, despite even that, occasionally marriages are still saved. But it requires the hurt people to give unconditional amounts of love, enough to forgive and forget. Our loyalty to our companion shouldn’t just be physical though, it should also be spiritually and mentally too. Be worthy of trust in everyday things. Avoid sketchy contact with anyone you aren’t married to. One good rule of thumb is to always have a third person present. It’s better safe than sorry.  If your spouse confides something in you, honor and respect their wishes to keep it just between the two of you. Don’t post it on social media, or call all your friends and family. Lots of times, they don’t really need to know. So let’s say your spouse broke their toe, and they didn’t want anyone to know. Would you be able to resist telling anyone? Eve...

When you were single you had chores to do. And when you’re married, they’re still there. But now you have someone to help share them with. So... Who’s gonna do what? Maybe while you were growing up, your Dad was in charge of taking out the garbage. Maybe your spouses Mom was in charge. In some homes Mom does all the shopping and cooking while Dad washes dishes and manages finances. It’s a good idea to decide, TOGETHER, how you’ll do things. Believe it or not, some couples never even have this talk; they just expect their spouse to do something because that’s how it was for them growing up. And then unnecessary arguments are had when someone is pulling more load than the other and it’s a mess. I remember Reading a story about a lady who was a newlywed and she expected her husband to put up the holiday decorations come Christmas time. So the closer it got to the holiday, the more upset she became. So one day she decided to put the decorations on the stairs so he will see them and get ...

Listening is vital during a discussion. As tempting as it is to interrupt, don’t do it. You’ll communicate much more effectively if you try to understand your partner BEFORE you respond. Let them get it all out before dealing with the problem. Sometimes you gotta let off some steam before you can cool down. Cause feelings aren’t right or wrong, they’re just feelings. You must be willing to listen. Cause listening is much more than just being quiet or silent. It requires undivided attention. The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. The time to deal with someone who has a problem, is when they still have a problem. The time to listen is when our attention is vital to the one who seeks it. Listening is part of loving. Listen to what they’re feeling along with what they’re saying takes an immense amount of concentration and effort. Show them you want to listen. By putting your phone, iPod/iPad, game controller or tv remote or anything else down.  Avoid giving your 2 ce...