Judgement

Real or implied, criticism can strain a relationship. When we criticize, we imply blame. For some, It’s a form of humor and they enjoy feeling superior when they see someone’s discomfort.

It’s easy to point out mistakes. I remember my mom telling me a story of how this beautiful young woman married this guy and how his constant criticism not only destroyed their marriage, but also her entire sense of self worth. 

It started out with small things like maybe her cooking or how she cleaned. To how she looked and talked. Eventually he wore her down to where she felt totally useless.

She also told me of a woman who had no self esteem. But her husband found so many things that were good in her and told her constantly. Gradually she began to believe she was indeed a good person and her opinions actually mattered. His belief in her rekindled her self worth.

Now, despite the examples I gave, it’s not always the men who build up or tear down a woman’s self confidence. Women can do it too. And not just to men,  but to other women.

I have a friend who’s ex wife completely shattered his self worth. When they were first married, he wanted to go to school and be in the medical field and help people. But she was only interested in what job paid the most and what she could be buyin with it. By the time they divorced, she’d done so much damage to him. He was almost an entirely different person. His only release he could find were drinking, smoking and drugs. Which also took their toll on him. 

The point is, just be careful with what you think to be ‘constructive’ criticism. Cause you may be doin more harm than you realize. Instead, find those things you love and put as much emphasis on them. Let your partner know and praise them for it.