Helpful Marriage Tips

Real or implied, criticism can strain a relationship. When we criticize, we imply blame. For some, It’s a form of humor and they enjoy feeling superior when they see someone’s discomfort. It’s easy to point out mistakes. I remember my mom telling me a story of how this beautiful young woman married this guy and how his constant criticism not only destroyed their marriage, but also her entire sense of self worth.  It started out with small things like maybe her cooking or how she cleaned. To how she looked and talked. Eventually he wore her down to where she felt totally useless. She also told me of a woman who had no self esteem. But her husband found so many things that were good in her and told her constantly. Gradually she began to believe she was indeed a good person and her opinions actually mattered. His belief in her rekindled her self worth. Now, despite the examples I gave, it’s not always the men who build up or tear down a woman’s self confidence. Women can do it ...

Most of us do things a certain way cause it’s programmed into our minds. So when we live with someone who’s raised a different way, our brain sees it as foreign. So when we see our spouse doing something different from the way we were taught, ask them about it. Find out if their way is better or just different. Lots of times it’s just different. No one wants to be constantly told what they’re doing wrong. So remember in your mind you may think you’re helping, by pointing out all the things they COULD or SHOULD be doing. When in reality, they may think that everything they do just isn’t good enough for you. I remember reading a story about a woman who read in an article that couples should sit down together and go over all the little things that annoy them. So she made a list and went over it to her spouse. Then when it was his turn to tell her all he said was, ‘I don’t think there’s a single thing I don’t already like about you.’ Ouch. While she’d been fussing over the little thi...

While it’s okay to consider your own needs in marriage, some people tend to get a bit self centered. They can get so focused on their own self gratification that they forget their partners’. There’s also some couples that can be overpowering negative that it effects their partner. That can aid in spouses becoming overwhelmed and become defensive or withdrawn. That’s when constructive communication becomes almost nonexistent. But! With practice, you can strengthen these skills that can help you to communicate better. You can replace old destructive habits with better ones. Examine how you talk to each other. Sometimes we get too focused on the problems, we forget how we communicate it. Don’t continue things that aren’t working. Instead try: Listening actively- Repeat back what you think they said to make sure you understand correctly. Pay attention to your body language and show them you’re actually paying attention. That means put down your phone, iPod, controller, etc and looking ...