Good Communication Skills
While it’s okay to consider your own needs in marriage, some people tend to get a bit self centered. They can get so focused on their own self gratification that they forget their partners’.
There’s also some couples that can be overpowering negative that it effects their partner. That can aid in spouses becoming overwhelmed and become defensive or withdrawn. That’s when constructive communication becomes almost nonexistent.
But! With practice, you can strengthen these skills that can help you to communicate better. You can replace old destructive habits with better ones.
Examine how you talk to each other. Sometimes we get too focused on the problems, we forget how we communicate it. Don’t continue things that aren’t working. Instead try:
Listening actively- Repeat back what you think they said to make sure you understand correctly. Pay attention to your body language and show them you’re actually paying attention. That means put down your phone, iPod, controller, etc and looking them in the eyes. Make sure they know you are listening and they have your undivided attention.
Ask them questions- If at some point they look like something is bothering them, ask them nicely if they would like to talk about it or if they would like some time to think about it first before talking to you. If they say no. Then respect their wishes and give them space. Let them know you’re here when they are ready to talk about it.
On a side note, some people don’t like bringing things up Incase it leads to an argument. Feelings most likely won’t change unless they’re talked about. So have a genuine desire to understand their point of view.
Clearly state your preferences- Think about what and how you want to say something BEFORE you say it. And choose the right time to bring it up. Instead of, ‘I wish you’d help more.’ Try saying, ‘Would you please take out the garbage?’ Make it clear as to what you want.
Give Honest Praise- Honest praise can help you both remember what you admire about each other.
The right communication can bring you closer together, if you work hard at it. And remember, don’t continue things that aren’t working. Try different approaches until one works. What works for one, may not work for everyone. We’re all different and unique.
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There’s also some couples that can be overpowering negative that it effects their partner. That can aid in spouses becoming overwhelmed and become defensive or withdrawn. That’s when constructive communication becomes almost nonexistent.
But! With practice, you can strengthen these skills that can help you to communicate better. You can replace old destructive habits with better ones.
Examine how you talk to each other. Sometimes we get too focused on the problems, we forget how we communicate it. Don’t continue things that aren’t working. Instead try:
Listening actively- Repeat back what you think they said to make sure you understand correctly. Pay attention to your body language and show them you’re actually paying attention. That means put down your phone, iPod, controller, etc and looking them in the eyes. Make sure they know you are listening and they have your undivided attention.
Ask them questions- If at some point they look like something is bothering them, ask them nicely if they would like to talk about it or if they would like some time to think about it first before talking to you. If they say no. Then respect their wishes and give them space. Let them know you’re here when they are ready to talk about it.
On a side note, some people don’t like bringing things up Incase it leads to an argument. Feelings most likely won’t change unless they’re talked about. So have a genuine desire to understand their point of view.
Clearly state your preferences- Think about what and how you want to say something BEFORE you say it. And choose the right time to bring it up. Instead of, ‘I wish you’d help more.’ Try saying, ‘Would you please take out the garbage?’ Make it clear as to what you want.
Give Honest Praise- Honest praise can help you both remember what you admire about each other.
The right communication can bring you closer together, if you work hard at it. And remember, don’t continue things that aren’t working. Try different approaches until one works. What works for one, may not work for everyone. We’re all different and unique.
Well said!
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