Helpful Marriage Tips

Complete trust in each other is one of the greatest feelings in any relationship. And nothing breaks it quite like infidelity. There’s never a justification for it. Although, despite even that, occasionally marriages are still saved. But it requires the hurt people to give unconditional amounts of love, enough to forgive and forget. Our loyalty to our companion shouldn’t just be physical though, it should also be spiritually and mentally too. Be worthy of trust in everyday things. Avoid sketchy contact with anyone you aren’t married to. One good rule of thumb is to always have a third person present. It’s better safe than sorry.  If your spouse confides something in you, honor and respect their wishes to keep it just between the two of you. Don’t post it on social media, or call all your friends and family. Lots of times, they don’t really need to know. So let’s say your spouse broke their toe, and they didn’t want anyone to know. Would you be able to resist telling anyone? Eve...

When you were single you had chores to do. And when you’re married, they’re still there. But now you have someone to help share them with. So... Who’s gonna do what? Maybe while you were growing up, your Dad was in charge of taking out the garbage. Maybe your spouses Mom was in charge. In some homes Mom does all the shopping and cooking while Dad washes dishes and manages finances. It’s a good idea to decide, TOGETHER, how you’ll do things. Believe it or not, some couples never even have this talk; they just expect their spouse to do something because that’s how it was for them growing up. And then unnecessary arguments are had when someone is pulling more load than the other and it’s a mess. I remember Reading a story about a lady who was a newlywed and she expected her husband to put up the holiday decorations come Christmas time. So the closer it got to the holiday, the more upset she became. So one day she decided to put the decorations on the stairs so he will see them and get ...

Before getting married, what’d you picture your marriage to be like? Hopefully not like out of a fairytale. You’re a new unique family building a new lifestyle. Along with your clothes and miscellaneous items, you both brought expectations to your marriage. Expectations about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. From who’s gonna kill the spiders to who’s in charge of cooking or finances. Our spouse may have envisioned eating candle lit dinners every night and the both of you sharing your thoughts and feelings every night. Or maybe they envisioned getting showered with gifts and love letters daily, or flowers every week. All the while the other spouse may have envisioned coming home after a long day and just doing nothing but watching Netflix and eating dinner on the couch. Maybe they envisioned playin sports after dinner with their friends. How they envisioned showing love is keeping the yard or cars cleaned. Maybe just spending time together will be enough so they won’t have to buy gifts. Whatever...

Listening is vital during a discussion. As tempting as it is to interrupt, don’t do it. You’ll communicate much more effectively if you try to understand your partner BEFORE you respond. Let them get it all out before dealing with the problem. Sometimes you gotta let off some steam before you can cool down. Cause feelings aren’t right or wrong, they’re just feelings. You must be willing to listen. Cause listening is much more than just being quiet or silent. It requires undivided attention. The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. The time to deal with someone who has a problem, is when they still have a problem. The time to listen is when our attention is vital to the one who seeks it. Listening is part of loving. Listen to what they’re feeling along with what they’re saying takes an immense amount of concentration and effort. Show them you want to listen. By putting your phone, iPod/iPad, game controller or tv remote or anything else down.  Avoid giving your 2 ce...

Most of us do things a certain way cause it’s programmed into our minds. So when we live with someone who’s raised a different way, our brain sees it as foreign. So when we see our spouse doing something different from the way we were taught, ask them about it. Find out if their way is better or just different. Lots of times it’s just different. No one wants to be constantly told what they’re doing wrong. So remember in your mind you may think you’re helping, by pointing out all the things they COULD or SHOULD be doing. When in reality, they may think that everything they do just isn’t good enough for you. I remember reading a story about a woman who read in an article that couples should sit down together and go over all the little things that annoy them. So she made a list and went over it to her spouse. Then when it was his turn to tell her all he said was, ‘I don’t think there’s a single thing I don’t already like about you.’ Ouch. While she’d been fussing over the little thi...

Learning to express your thoughts and feelings is rough. But HUGE for a relationship. It’s also a great habit to get into. Even if it may seem dumb or embarrassing. Side note- Just because you’ve been together for a while, it does not turn either of you into a mind reader. As a kid, I remember my Mom reading a book about how not expressing your feelings can lead to them coming out in much uglier ways down the road. We should learn to express when we are hurt and let our feelings show. It’s very possible to do without being inconsiderate. It’s always better to talk about someone’s actions rather than the person themselves. Communication is every thought, feeling or act shared verbally and non verbally between two people. It can reduce conflict and increase love. Use your words nicely to solve problems and better understand each other’s point of view. If you need some time to gather your thoughts so you can come up with a better, kinder, way of explaining it to them, then tell your...